Tact

 

British statesman and financier Cecil Rhodes, whose fortune was used to endow the world-famous Rhodes Scholarships, was a stickler for correct dress--but apparently not at the expense of someone else's feelings. A young man invited to dine with Rhodes arrived by train and had to go directly to Rhodes's home in his travel-stained clothes. Once there, he was appalled to find the other guests already assembled, wearing full evening dress. After what seemed a long time Rhodes appeared, in a shabby old blue suit. Later the young man learned that his host had been dressed in evening clothes, but put on the old suit when he heard of his young guest's dilemma.

In the words of Dale Carnegie, if we are going to "win friends and influence people," it is important that we understand people and, as much as possible (within moral bounds of course), that we are sensitive to their situation and, as much as possible, identify with them.

As the old saying goes, "to win some we need to be winsome."

Dear God
please give me an understanding heart
and help me always to be sensitive
to the needs and situation of others
so that my life
will be a channel of your love
to every life I touch ..

Dark Night of the Soul

William Cowper, poet and hymn writer, who lived from 1731-1800 in England, apparently suffered from fits of melancholy and frequent attacks of spiritual despair which led to two suicide attempts.

On one of these occasions, during a time of deep despair and a dark night of the soul on a foggy night he set out from his home in London with the intention of jumping into the River Thames to end his life.

He got hopelessly lost in the fog and wandered blind for some time. Eventually, lost and confused, he walked into a home to get out of the fog. And the home he walked into? It was his own.

He sat down and penned the words of the beloved hymn:

    God moves in a mysterious way
    His wonders to perform;
    He plants his footsteps in the sea,
    And rides upon the storm.

    Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
    The clouds ye so much dread
    Are big with mercy, and shall break
    In blessings on your head.

If you are going through a dark night of the soul right now and it feels that God is far away, be assured He is standing in the shadows and He knows all about you and He cares.

When we commit and trust our life to God every day, "Weeping may endure for the night, but joy will come in the morning" -- even if it is eventually!

Dear God
In my despair
let me not grow weary in trusting you
but renew my faith
and use my present pain
to make me a better, stronger person
so I can comfort others
as they struggle
through their journey of despair and pain.

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer ..

You Can Never Get Enough of What You Don’t Want

I read an interesting quote that said, "You can never get enough of what you don't want." I had to stop and think about this one. Why would I ever want what I don't want?

An over-simplification of what I believe this quote means is that if I have a craving for chocolate ice cream, no matter how much vanilla ice-cream I get, it would never satisfy my hunger for chocolate ice-cream.

To apply this principle to a higher cause means that sometimes we settle for less than what is best for us because of the challenge to achieve what we truly want to achieve if we are determined to do so.

God wants the very best for us. The question for each of us is, Do we want what God wants for us?

God wants us a healthy lifestyle, a worthwhile work into which we can put our best efforts, loving relationships, and for us to discover and fulfill His divine purpose for our life.

It is no "chocolate ice cream party" to achieve any of these goals let alone all of them. The half-hearted never make it. "Vanilla ice-cream living" is so much easier to achieve, but it has no “nutritional" (spiritual) value.

Are you and I settling for "vanilla ice-cream" when we could have the gold of God's "chocolate ice cream" life?

Dear God
please don't let me ever get satisfied with an abundance of what I don't want--anything less than all that you have planned and envisioned for me to become and do.

Please give me faith and determination, and with your help, to achieve all your goals for my life.

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayers

(Urdu) The Story of Diamond and Coal

بابا دین دنیا سے بے نیاز ایک کہانی سنا ریا تھا..
وہ بولا کہ ایک بادشاہ نے کانچ کے ھیرے اور اصلی ھیرے ایک تھیلی میں ڈال کر اعلان کیا "ھے کوئی جوھری جو کانچ اور اصلی ھیرے الگ کر سکے"

شرط یہ تھی کہ کامیاب جوھری کو منہ مانگا انعام اور ناکام کا سر قلم کردیا جائے گا ۔ درجن بھر جوھری سر قلم کروا بیٹھے ۔ کیوں کہ کانچ کے نقلی ھیروں کو اس مہارت سے تراشا گیا تھا کہ اصلی کا گمان ھوتا تھا ۔ ڈھنڈھورا سنکر ایک اندھا شاھی محل میں حاضر ھوا فرشی سلام کے بعد بولا کہ میں وہ ھیرے اور کانچ الگ الگ کر سکتا ہوں ۔ بادشاہ نے تمسخر اڑایا اور ناکامی کی صورت میں سر قلم کرنےکی شرط بتائی اندھا ھر شرط ماننے کوتیار ھوا ۔ ھیروں کی تھیلی اٹھائی اور محل سے نکل گیا ۔ ایک گھنٹے بعد حاضر ھوا اس کے ایک ھاتھ میں اصلی اور دوسرے ھاتھ میں کانچ کے نقلی ھیرے تھے ۔
شاھی جوھریوں نے تصدیق کی کے اندھا جیت گیا ھے ۔ بادشاہ بہت حیران ھوا اس کی حیرت کی انتہا نہ رھی کہ ایک جو کام آنکھوں والے نہ کر سکے وہ کام ایک نابینا کیسے کر گیا ۔ بادشاہ نے اندھے سے دریافت کیا کہ اس نے اصلی اور نقلی کی پہچان کیسے کی؟

اندھا بولا یہ تو بہت آسان ھے "میں نے ھیروں کی تھیلی کڑی دھوپ میں رکھ دی پھر جو تپش سے گرم ھوگئے  وہ نقلی تھے اور جو گرمی برداشت کر گئے اور ٹھنڈے رھے اور وہ اصلی تھے "

بادشاہ نے اندھے کے علم کی تعریف کی اور انعام اکرام سے نواز کر رخصت کیا ۔

بابا دین نے ایک لمبا سانس لیا اور بولا...

" اندھے کی رخصتی کے ساتھ ھی میرا غصہ میری انا میرے دماغ کی گرمی بھی رخصت ھوگئی-

مجھے سمجھ آگئی کہ برداشت, نرم مزاجی, حلیمی , متانت اور محبت ھی انسایت کی معراج ھے جو گرمئی حالات کو سہہ گیا وہ ھیرا جو نہ سہہ سکا وہ کانچ "۔

میں خاموشی کے ساتھ بابا دین محمد کی باتیں سمجھنے کی کوشش کر رھا تھا ۔

بابا بولا بیٹا بانو قدسیہ آپا راجہ گدھ میں لکھتی ہیں کہ "جو دباو سہہ جائے وہ ھیرا جو نہ سہہ سکے وہ کوئلہ "

مجھے بابا دین محمد نے آج بہت بڑی بات سمجھائی تھی ۔ میں جان گیا تھا کے اصلی اور نقلی میں صرف برداشت اور سہہ جانے کا فرق ھے ۔

میں نے پوچھا بابا انسان آخر کب تک برداشت کرے؟کب تک لوگو کے طعنے سہے؟کب تک اپنے غصے کو پئے؟آخر برداشت کی کوئی حد ھوتی ھے

بابا مسکرایا اور بولا بیٹا اس وقت تک سہنا ھے جب تک ھیرا نہ بن جاؤ

میں نے پوچھا پھر اس کے بعد..؟

بابا نے کہا ھیرا بنے کے بعد ھیرے پر کوئی دباو کوئی آگ کوئی تپش اثر نہیں کرتی ۔

جس طرح چکنے گھڑے پر پانی نہیں ٹکتا اسی طرح "اصلی" پر کوئی تیر کوئی نشتر کام نہیں کرتا ۔ بندہ جب بندے کے عشق میں مبتلا ھوجاتا ھے تو وہ دنیا کے لئے اور دنیا اس کے لئے بے ضرر ھوجاتی ھے ۔

میں نے کہا انسان کو انسان کے ساتھ کیسا سلوک کرنا چاھئے؟

بابا دین محمد بولا درخت سے سیکھو جو پھل بھی دیتا ھے اور سایہ بھی..

لوگ آتے ہیں اس کے سائے میں سستاتے ھیں پھل کھاتے ھیں اور چلے جاتے ہیں ۔ درخت اسی جگہ کھڑا اگلے مسافر کا انتظار کرتا ھے اور ھر آنے والے کی آٶ بھگت کرتا ھے ۔ خاموش رھتا ھے کبھی شور نہیں کرتا اپنی عنایات کا اعلان نہیں کرتا, جتاتا نہیں ۔ اسی طرح بندے کو ھونا چاھئیے ۔ بابا اشفاق صاحب فرماتے تھے کہ کسی آم کے درخت نے کبھی اپنا آم چوس کر نہیں دیکھا۔ بابا دین محمد بولا درخت نے دان کرنے کی یہ ادا ماں سے سیکھی ھے جو بچوں کو سکول بھیجنے کے بعد چار گھنٹے لگا کر گوشت سبزی پیاز پودینے سے ھانڈی پکاتی ھے اور بچوں کے آتے ہی چار گھنٹے کی محنت ان کے سامنے رکھ کر خاموشی سے بچوں کو کھاتا دیکھر من ھی من خوش ھوتی ھے ۔ ماتھے کا پسینہ دوپٹے کے پلو سے صاف کرکے سلامت رھو تاقیامت کی دعا دیتی ھے ۔

ھم درخت اور ماں کو استاد مان کر سب کچھ سیکھ سکتے ہیں ۔ بابا کھڑا ھوا اور ھاتھ ملا کر پارک کے صدر دروازے سے نکل گیا۔۔۔

Grumblers

 

In much younger days, i made a major mistake. I was scared to tell my boss. But when I did, he quickly put me at ease when he said, "Well, the fellow who never made a mistake, never made anything." And we fixed my mistake without any fuss or bother.

How different are negative people who are constantly looking for pegs on which to hang their anger, bitterness, and negativity. They complain about the weather, their boss, their health, and everything else they can think of to gripe about, and they never lack for ways to criticize others.

As John W. Stott said in his book,  "The censorious critic is the fault-finder who is negative and destructive towards other people and enjoys actively seeking out their failures. He puts the worst possible construction on their motives, pours cold water on their schemes, and is ungenerous towards their mistakes."

Not very flattering--to put it mildly.

Actually negative complainers are angry people. Instead of facing their anger and negative feelings realistically and resolving them, they project them onto others and express them in hurtful and destructive ways. They are not nice people to be around. So, whenever you and I are being over-critical, let's examine our own heart to see what it is in us that needs to be faced, confronted and resolved.

Dear God
please deliver me
from the sin of grumbling
and complaining.
Whenever I am tempted to criticize bitterly
and have a negative attitude
help me
to look into my heart
and see why I am feeling the way I am.

Thank you for hearing and answering my
prayers..

Creative Questioning

Albert Einstein, who discovered the theory of relativity, asked, "What would a light wave look like to someone keeping pace with it?"

Bill Bowerman, inventor of Nike shoes, questioned, "What happens if I pour rubber into my waffle iron?"

Fred Smith, founder of Federal Express, reasoned, "Why can't there be reliable overnight mail service?"

Godfrey Hounsfield, inventor of the CAT scanner, asked, "Why can't we see in three dimensions what is inside a human body without cutting it open?"

And Masaru Ibuka, honorary chairman of the Sony Corporation who came up with the idea for the Sony Walkman, queried, "Why don't we remove the recording function and speaker and put headphones in the recorder?"

Asking the right questions is one of the fundamental keys for opening the mind to new ideas, some of which have made profound changes for mankind.

However, whenever people come up with new ideas, they need courage to overcome the criticisms of negative people who seem to feel that their calling in life is to discourage creative thinkers and productive change.

For instance, shoe makers called Nike's idea for waffle shoes stupid. Godfrey Hounsfield's CAT scan idea was seen as "impractical." Masaru Ibuka was asked if he was crazy when he proposed the idea for the Sony walkman and Fred Smith wrote a paper at Yale suggesting the idea for Federal Express--and got a "C" grade!

We, too, need to question doctrines we are taught to make sure they are not just outmoded traditions of man and be constantly open to and actively seeking better ways of doing things for improving the quality of life for ourselves and others. And, most of all, we need to be open to what God is doing, or wanting to do, in our own life, in our community, and in our nation--and get in on his plans.

Dear God
help me not to accept everything I hear
but to test it to see if it is true.
And help me to be open to change
where change is needed
and where I need to change
and help me to be a change agent for you