Choices

Michael Josephson of Character Counts shared how, "two young men in Florida removed a stop sign and brought it back to their fraternity house as a trophy. A fatal accident occurred at the sign-less intersection and the men were convicted of manslaughter.

"In Tennessee, a couple of teenagers were in a high-rise building and one took a dare by the other and slid down a trash chute in the hall—right into an automatic trash compactor. He died and his friend was traumatized, possibly for life.

"What makes these stories all the more tragic is that we're not talking about bad kids; we're talking about fundamentally decent kids who made really bad choices."

Good people can make bad choices just as bad people can make good choices. The fact is we are all the sum total of all of our past choices. Our past was shaped by the choices we made in the past. Our future will be shaped by the choices we make today.

Let us be certain not to make our choices by default, but by very careful and prayerful planning, for the choices we make will make us—for time and eternity.

Imprisoned by "Shoulds"

Do you always do what you truly want to do, or do you give in to other's wants because you are afraid to say no?

Are you swayed by what others think because you fear you won't be liked if you don't do what they want or think you should do?

A part of growth and maturity is recognizing our legitimate needs, taking responsibility for getting them met in healthy ways, and by being our own person in that we are being true to ourselves and not allowing ourselves to be controlled by what others want, think, or expect. The healthy, mature person makes decisions on the basis of what he/ she knows is right for him/ her. While we don't give in to others' demands, it doesn't mean that we never give in to their wishes. It means that we do what we choose to do, not because somebody else says we should, but because we want and freely choose to do so. Living by others' "shoulds" will imprison us!

Learn to listen to your heart. Your heart knows what you want and need. Learn to say no to others' demands when you know that to say no is the right thing for you to do. Allowing ourselves to be controlled by others' demands and "shoulds" also makes us angry inside.

Remember, without the freedom to say "no" our "yeses" are meaningless.

We can learn to listen to our heart "deep down inside us" and trust it. I was taught that I could never trust my feelings (heart). Wrong. I have since learned that I can always trust my feelings. What I can't always trust is my interpretation of them. However, with practice I'm getting much better at it, and believe I am a much wiser, healthier, and more mature person as a result.