Feelings: A Bane or a Blessing?

Imagine living in a world without feelings ? As someone noted in Reader's Digest some years ago, "Life without feelings would be like playing a trombone with a stuck slide"—incredibly dull and boring.

Feelings are feelings—and not actions. Feelings are an indication of what is going on in one's inner self—often from the unconscious mind. They are an "emotional thermometer" as it were indicating the state of one's inner self. The important thing is to learn how to discern what our feelings are telling us and then act appropriately.

For instance, if I have continuing feelings of anger, this is an indication that I probably have an unresolved relational conflict that I need to resolve. Or if I have ongoing feelings of guilt, this is an indication that I need to put something right and seek forgiveness. Think too of temptation. It starts in the mind. The thoughts and feelings associated with the temptation are neither right nor wrong. It's what we do about them—or in response to them—that makes them either right or wrong.

What we do about our anger that becomes either right or wrong—creative, or destructive and sinful. Remember, too, that what negative feelings we don't talk out creatively, we will inevitably act out destructively.

Thinking Makes It So

Thinking Makes It So

William James, the father of American psychology, stated that, "the greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind [your thinking]." He also said, "If you change your mind, you can change your life."

While what William James said is true, this truth wasn't discovered by his generation. Two thousand years ago God's word pointed out the importance of right thinking.

It is true; we can change our lives by changing our thinking—either for good or bad. If we harbor and dwell on negative thoughts, we will act in negative ways. On the other hand, if we harbor and dwell on positive thoughts, we will act in positive ways. What we think about comes about.

As another has said, "What the mind dwells on the body acts on." Think of temptation for instance. First comes a thought and, if we entertain it, it hooks our feelings, and the stronger we feel about it, the more we keep thinking about it, and the more we rationalize about doing it … and unless we nip that thinking in the bud, we give in to the temptation and act it out.

So as an unknown author also wisely said:

Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes.
Watch your attitudes; they lead to words.
Watch your words; they lead to actions.
Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your habits; they form your character.
Watch your character; it determines your destiny.

Your Key Is Still in the Ignition

Some time ago I read the following story in Focus on the Family magazine about a man who bought a car that had replaced warning lights with spoken instructions from a woman.

In a soft voice, his little woman, as he called her, would say, "Your door isn't closed properly." "Your key is still in the ignition." "Your seatbelt isn't fastened properly."

On one occasion, he recalled how the voice of his little woman said, "Your fuel level is getting low."

The driver thanked her and, figuring he had sufficient fuel to take him fifty more miles, ignored the voice and kept driving. Soon his little woman repeated, "Your fuel level is low." The longer he drove, the more his little woman repeated her warning.

Getting frustrated, he stopped his car, searched under the dashboard, and found the appropriate wires. One quick jerk and his little woman was silenced.

Imagine the look on his face when, a few minutes later, his car sputtered and jerked to a standstill—out of fuel! One could almost imagine a grin on his little woman's face !

We all have a little voice within. It's called conscience. It can get very annoying at times, too. Sometimes we "pull its wires" and, too late, we discover we are "out of fuel."

One danger, when we ignore the voice of our conscience and don't live according to our convictions, is that our mind experiences what counselors call "cognitive dissonance." That is, mental disharmony. Because this is too uncomfortable to live with, we switch off our conscience.

When we do this often enough, our mind not only switches off the voice of conscience but turns up the volume on the voice of rationalization and justification.

The sad fact is that if we don't live the life we believe, we end up unhappily believing the life we live. It is a dangerous and self-destructive path to follow.

Remember

Remember

Leo Buscaglia wrote, "There was a girl who gave me a poem, and she gave me permission to share it, and I want to do that because it explains about putting off and putting off and putting off—especially putting off caring about people we really love. She wants to remain anonymous, but she calls the poem, "Things You Didn't Do," that said the following:

Remember the day I borrowed your brand
new car and I dented it?
I thought you'd kill me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I dragged you to the
beach and you said it would rain, and it did?
I thought you'd say, "I told you so," but you didn't.
Do you remember the time I flirted with all the
guys to make you jealous, and you were?
thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.
Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry
pie all over your car rug?
I thought you'd hit me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I forgot to tell you the
dance was formal and you showed up in jeans?
I thought you'd drop me, but you didn't.
Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do.
But you put up with me, and you loved me,
and you protected me.
There were lots of things I wanted to make up to
you when you returned from Viet Nam.
But you didn't.

Is there something you need to do today for someone you care about—something that you've been putting off for too long ?

Why not do it today ?

Trust

Speaking of dreams, rock-climbing definitely is not a dream of mine. I've seen rock climbers scale the face of El Capitan in the magnificent Yosemite National Park in California. The thought of my doing what they are doing terrifies me. What if they fell ? It can happen. Imagine the terror that rock climber, Lynn Hill, experienced in May of 1989 when scaling a cliff face in France. As she reached the top of a 72-foot ledge, she leaned back into her harness to take a rest—and her rope didn't hold. She hurtled backwards into space. Amazingly, she survived the fall. She shared this in her autobiography, Climbing Free.

Hill was an experienced rock climber and relied fully on her equipment. Her experience, however, is a powerful reminder of the dangers of putting our trust into something that can fail.

Think of all the people who held stock in companies such as Enron. Thousands thought their future was secure but lost all their retirement funds. True, we can't go through life being suspicious of everyone, but having said that, we do need to be wise and careful about who and what we put our trust in.


So be extremely wise and careful in what and in whom you put your trust when it comes to life after death. Your life depends on it. Eternity is forever !

Attitude

Attitude, as it has been said, is much more important than aptitude. Aptitude says that we can do things, but attitude will determine how well we do them. Aptitude will determine how well we can think, but attitude will determine how well we feel about what we think. Aptitude will help us see things that perhaps others don't see, but attitude will help how we interpret what we see and what we do about it. A person with a healthy, positive attitude can achieve much more with his average aptitude than a person with a highly skilled aptitude but who has a negative and self-defeating attitude.

People with a positive attitude will see the glass half-full and be thankful, while those with a negative attitude will see the glass half-empty and complain about it. Both are correct of course but it's attitude that makes the difference in how they see things. In life we see things not the way they are but the way we are. And if we don't have an honest and realistic attitude, we will distort the most obvious facts to make them match our prejudiced attitude.

Then, of course, there are those who will argue that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. You can't win with these people because no matter what you say, they will disagree with you because they have a disagreeable attitude.

In all of life it's attitude that makes the difference. Aptitude is a gift. Attitude is a choice.

I like what Michael Josephson of Character Counts said, "So, at least for today, I'm not going to worry that roses have thorns; I'll rejoice that thorns have roses."

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