Turning Pebbles Into Pearls

Into the shell of an oyster a tiny foreign body—such as a tiny parasite—finds its way into the soft oyster body. "The intruder, though microscopic, is a source of irritation and pain to the soft body of the oyster. Unable to rid itself of the unwelcome 'guest,' the oyster seeks to reduce the irritation by coating it with layers of soft, iridescent mother-of-pearl material from its own shell. Over time, the oyster transforms a painful irritation into a beautiful pearl of great value."

Most of us have "tiny parasites" or annoying "pebbles" that come into our life on a regular basis … many of which can be very frustrating and even painful.

But every one of these annoyances gives us a chance to grow and mature. Some will require great patience, others tough love. Some will require our turning the other cheek, some confrontation, and some kindness and understanding. For example, addicts need to be treated with tough love. Bullies require us to maintain healthy boundaries. Cheaters need to be confronted. Manipulators need to be managed. Control freaks need to be resisted, guilt throwers need to be challenged, and toxic people may need to be avoided, and so on.

With God's help, if we so choose, we can turn every one of these annoying pebbles into pearls or we can allow them to make us bitter. For it's not what happens to us that matters, but how we react to what happens. What we do about it is what matters—and that's a choice we make either consciously or unconsciously.

And remember, "The bumps are what we climb on."

No Fear—No Kidding

A common question asked in motivational seminars is: "If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do with your life?"

Participants imagine all sorts of things: take flying lessons … write a book … travel around the world … start a business … learn to play a musical instrument … make pottery, and so on.

Think of Martin Luther King's life-transforming, world-impacting statement: "I have a dream." And while King didn't live to see his dream fulfilled, his dream and what he started made a powerful impact on his world and helped change the world for every American. The fears he and his family faced from constant harassment and threats on his life would have overwhelmed all but the bravest of souls. However, it was his dream that overcame his fears and caused him even in death to triumph.

Remember, it's normal to be afraid. Most of us struggle with fear from time to time. It's part of the human condition. The important thing is not to deny one's fears but to acknowledge them, and not allow them to control us. As one author put it, "Feel the fear and do it anyway."

If the fear of failure were removed, what would you really like to do? Whether it's something small or something major doesn't matter. What is your dream, or better still, what is God's dream for you? And what will you do about it? Will you choose to allow your fear to control you? Or, with God's help, will you allow your dream to control your fear?

Remember too, that it's okay to fail in attempting to reach a goal. Failures are par for the course. In many ways they are our greatest teacher. The only real failure is not to get up one more time than we fall down—and to give up on our dream. Remember, too, failure is an event not a person. Know your dream. Trust God and put your dream in charge of your fears and, in time, as you step out in faith to begin to fulfill you dream, you will be able to say, "No fear. No kidding. That is, fear no longer has control over me!"

Superman Who?

I read how Ray, an energetic three-year-old, liked to play being Superman. Each morning he would have his mother pin a bath towel to the back of his T-shirt and off he'd go imagining he was wearing the magic blue and red cape pretending he was Superman. In his mind he came to believe he was Superman.

Then came kindergarten. When the teacher asked Ray for his name, he replied, "Superman."

Trying to hide her amusement she asked again, "I need to know your real name." Again he replied in all sincerity, "Superman."

The teacher, still trying to hide her amusement, got down to Ray's level and, looking squarely into Ray's eyes, said quite firmly, "I need to know your real name. What is it?"

Little Ray looked around the room, making sure no one was listening and, leaning close to the teacher, whispered in her ear, "I'm Clark Kent."

We smile at a child's innocence and make-believe world. But in reality some of us, afraid of being known for who we truly are, have hidden behind a pretend-mask for so long that we have come to believe that the role we play is the real us. In doing so, we fail to realize that the loneliness we struggle with is caused by our living in a make-believe world, neither knowing who we are or being known for who we are. For we can only ever be loved and connected to other loving people to the degree that we are known. Masks can't be loved. Only real people can be loved.

LoveHim

Love him …
when he “forgets” that special occasion.
For him moment with you is special so he does not need an occasion.

Love him…
when he comes late from the Musjid.
He wants to make sure he is early with you in Jannah (Paradise).

Love him…
when he admonishes you to don the hijaab.
He wants to be sure you enshrouded by Allah’s Mercy when you leave थे home.
Love him...
when he is jealous. Out of all the women he could have,
he chose you to be his wife!
Love him...
when he is working till late. At least he comes home
and you still get to sleep and wake up in his loving and caring arms।

Love him...
when he has annoying little habits that drives you nuts.
You have them too (and maybe more)
Love him...
when does not praise your cooking. He told you as
newlyweds that yours was indeed always the best.
Love him...
when he looks dishevelled.
He was more busy caring for the family than grooming himself. By the way he is cute!

Love him...

when he does not help in the home.
He is out earning a halaal (pure) income for the family.

Love him...
when he does not reply to your questions.
He does not want to hurt your feelings or is absorbed in thinking about your welfare.

Love him...
when he looks beautiful. He’s yours to appreciate!
Love him...
when he goes out in the Path of Allah. He is preparing a blissful eternal home for you in Jannah.
Love him...
when he does not comment when you get angry. He is a good listener.

Love him...
when he buys you gifts you don’t like. Smile and tell him it’s what you’ve always wanted. He took the time and money out just for you!

Love him...
when he has developed a bad habit. You have many more and with wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help him change.

Love him...
when he is irritable and moody.
Buy chocolates, massage his head and feet and just chat to him. He will become your slave!

Love him...
when whatever you do is not pleasing.
It’s like a storm; it happens and will soon pass by.

Love him...
when he drives so fast.
He only wants you to be there in time.

Love him...
when he extends his period of rest.
He is re-charging himself to serve you the best.

Love him...
when he forgets to say “I love you”.
He actually shows his love in many other ways.

Love him...
when he forgets to buy the bread or milk.
He was rushing home to be with you.

Love him...
when he does not give you a chance to talk.
He just knows what is in your heart and what it is you want to say.

Love him...
when he “demands” respect.
After all he is the head of the house.

Love him...
when he shouts the kids.
He only wants to ensure they are corrected and have a good moral upbringing.

Love him...
he is yours. You don’t need any other special reason!!!!
All this forms part of a man’s character।

Your Husband is part of your life and should be treated as the King!।
Almighty Allah Ta’ala says:

“ And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)…” (Qur’an 30:21)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is reported to have said:

• Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.’”(Hadith-Ibn Majah)


• “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.
  ”(Hadith-Ahmad and al-Tabarani)


• “Pay attention to how you treat him(husband), for he is your Paradise and your Hell।”(Hadith-13 Ahmad and al-Nisa’i)


• “No human being is permitted to prostrate to another, but if this were permitted I would have ordered wives to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights they have over them.”(Hadith: Ahmad and al-Bazzar)
  Don’t wait for that special occasion, take time NOW to make him feel Special in Every Way! Just give him a HUGE HUG and if he asks why then say: “ It’s just because you are so SPECIAL…”

LOVE "HER"

LOVE HER…

Love her …

when she sips on your coffee or tea.

She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you.

Love her…

when she "pushes" you to pray.

She wants to be with you in Jannah (Paradise).

Love her…

when she asks you to play with the kids.

She did not "make" them on her own.

Love her...

when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have,

she chose you

Love her…

when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts.

You have them too.

Love her…

when her cooking is bad. She tries.

Love her…

when she looks dishevelled in the morning.

She always grooms herself up again.

Love her…

when she asks to help with the kids homework.

She only wants you to be part of the home.

Love her...

when she asks if she looks fat.

Your opinion counts, so tell her she's beautiful.

Love her…

when she looks beautiful. She's yours so appreciate her.

Love her...

when she spends hours to get ready.

She only wants to look her best for you.

Love her…

when she buys you gifts you don't like.

Smile and tell her it's what you've always wanted.

Love her…

when she has developed a bad habit.

You have many more and with wisdom and politeness

You have all the time to help her change.

Love her…

when she cries for absolutely nothing.

Don't ask, tell her its going to be okay

Love her…

when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate,

rub her feet and back and just chat to her

(trust me this works!)

Love her…

when whatever you do is not pleasing.

It happens and will pass

Love her…

when she stains your clothes.

You needed a new thobe (kurta) anyway

Love her…

when she tells you how to drive.

She only wants you to be safe.

Love her…

when she argues. She only wants to make things right for both

Love her…

she is yours. You don't need any other special reason!!!!

All this forms part of a Woman's Character।

Women are part of your life and should be treated as the Queen.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) advised concerning the woman:

· Treat the women well.

· The best of you are those who are the best in the treatment of their wives.

· No one honours the woman except an honorable man.

And no one humiliates or holds her in contempt

except one who is evil, vile, wicked and depraved.

Don't wait for that special occasion,

take time now to make her feel Special in Every Way !

Stress Management

I read about a lecturer who, when teaching on stress management, raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Numerous guesses were suggested.

"What it weighs doesn't matter," the lecturer replied. "What matters is how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's no problem. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will ache terribly. And if I hold it for a day, I'll be in real trouble. The longer I hold it the 'heavier' it becomes."

That's true in life? If we keep working without a break, eventually we will break. And if we keep carrying a burden that is too heavy to bear without doing something about it, sooner or later the burden will break us. Stress needs to be managed—without which it can become a killer.

Learn to take breaks. Rest a while. Then you will be able to renew your strength and carry on.

Friendship

Friendship

The North American Indians had no written language before they met the white man. Their language, however, was far from primitive. Many of the Indians had as many words
in their vocabulary as their English and French exploiters। Some of their words were much more picturesque, too। For example, "friend" to the Indians was "one-who-carries-my-sorrows-on-his-back."

Every one of us needs at least one trusted Indian-type friend with whom we can share our deepest sorrows and disappointments. We all need a helping hand and a listening ear when we're going through difficult times; a shoulder to cry on when we are hurting, loving arms to hug us when we are lonely, and a good friend to laugh with us when we are happy.

Choose friends who are encouragers. Avoid as far as possible friends who are negative—and those "who are cursed with the affliction to give advice" when it is neither asked for nor wanted. They're not your friends. They will drain you. Being loving doesn't mean that we let people walk over us.

And most important of all … be an Indian-type friend !

Sunk in a Sinkhole

Sunk in a Sinkhole

"In December 1985 an enormous sinkhole swallowed a house and carport and forced the evacuation of four homes in a retirement community in Florida. The hole was about the size of a pickup truck when it was discovered. Within three hours it had grown to 30 by 40 feet and had swallowed half of a small house. Two hours later it had expanded to more than 70 feet, and the house with its carport was gone. Authorities were grateful that it finally stopped growing without doing even more damage.

Many people, find themselves falling into the sinkhole of temptation because they leave the door open for temptation to enter.

Temptation works the same for all of us. It's progressive. It can start with an innocent look, then a thought, and then if we linger longer on the look, the thought progresses to desire, then to becoming blind to reality and fooling ourselves into rationalizing that it won't hurt, and then to yielding. Following this pathway can quickly lead one into the sinkhole of sin as well as despair.

To overcome temptation we need to realize how vulnerable we are to the pull that temptation has on us. Note that "what the mind dwells on the body acts on," so when temptation knocks on our door, the best defense is to change our thinking. To do this immediately, pray, "Help, God, help," and say over and over, " until the tempting thoughts are wiped out.

Also, stand firm in the faith; be men [and women] of courage; be strong." And again, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."