Living, Loving and Learning

A popular song from back in the '60s or '70s by Burt Bacharach was: "What the world needs now is love, sweet love / It's the only thing that there's just too little of / What the world needs now is love, sweet love / No not just for some but for everyone."

Only those embittered and disillusioned by failure in love would disagree with those words. We were created for loving relationship, without which we limp along in the shadows of life eking out a lonely existence. And even while living with others such people may live together alone apart—and die a little every day.

It may not be most desirable, but we can live without romantic relationships, but we cannot live healthily nor can we get our love needs met without being in at least one—and hopefully—several healthy relationships.

Furthermore, we can only love and be loved to the degree that we are known. As long as I hide behind a false mask, no matter how attractive and likable that mask may be, I will never feel loved, because my mask is not me. That's the person I'm pretending to be.

Moreover, as Sydney Jourard wrote some years ago in his book, The Transparent Self, "Every maladjusted person is someone who has not made himself known to another human being and in consequence he does not know himself. Nor can he be himself. More than that, he struggles actively to avoid becoming known by another human being. He works ceaselessly at it day and night. And it is work!"

So to be healthy physically, emotionally and spiritually—and to find loving relationships—we need to come out of hiding and be real.

So how do we do this ?

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us."

I have asked hundreds of people how many feel that they would like more love in their life. In response, most hands are raised. But when I ask how they can get more love, almost all answer, "By giving love."

Sounds reasonable and works wonderfully well as long as we feel loved. The fact remains, however, that we cannot give what we haven't got. In other words I can only give love to the degree that I have been and feel loved.

In my experience I don't think there are many principles I find so simple and yet so profound in its effect—and so difficult for people to grasp—than teaching how to grow in love so that they will feel loved and have more love to give.

Here's the principle: We love God because he first loved us. We love people exactly the same way—by someone first loving us!

Love is a lesson to be learned. We don't come into the world knowing how to love—only with the capacity to learn love. If we grow up and live with love, we will learn how to love and become loving. If we don't, we won't. That is, if we don't grow up in a loving home atmosphere, we won't learn to feel loved or how to love. We become what we grow up with.

If we grew up with less than adequate love, we need to get it now. So how do we do this? We can only feel loved to the degree that we are known. In other words, to fully love we need to be fully known for who we truly are. That's the scary thing that makes it so difficult for people to grasp.

I fear that if you know who I truly am with all of my fears, faults, and failures, you won't like me, let alone love me. However, if I am with safe, loving people the exact opposite is true. The easiest people in the world to love are people who are real—who are honest—people who are not hiding behind a false mask pretending to be something or someone they are not.

In other words, I learn love by being with safe people; that is, non-judgmental, non-advice-giving, and non-trying-to-fix-me people. If you are a safe, trustworthy person, as I allow you to see my fears, failures and faults and you don't judge me, tell me what I should or shouldn't feel, be or do, but accept and love me as I truly am, little by little I learn to love and accept myself in exactly the same way. That reprogramming of the mind doesn't happen overnight. It takes time, patience, and persistence. Try as I might there is no other way to grow in love. There is no simple, quick-fix solution.

The Power of a Creed

Creeds are principles by which to live. If we want to live worthwhile and purposeful lives, it pays to choose and believe in a worthwhile and purposeful creed. Many have been written by others. A well thought-out one was written by John D. Rockefeller, Jr. It is as follows:

"I believe in the supreme worth of the individual and in his right to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

"I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty.


"I believe that the law was made for man and not man for the law; that government is the servant of the people and not their master.

"I believe in the dignity of labor, whether with head or hand; that the world owes no man a living, but that it owes every man an opportunity to make a living.

"I believe that thrift is essential to well-ordered living and that economy is a prime requisite of a sound financial structure, whether in government, business, or personal affairs.

"I believe that truth and justice are fundamental to an enduring social order.

"I believe in the sacredness of a promise, that a man's word should be as good as his bond; that character—not wealth or power or position—is of supreme worth.

"I believe that the rendering of useful service is the common duty of mankind and that only in the purifying fire of sacrifice is the dross of selfishness consumed and the greatness of the human soul set free.

"I believe in an all-wise and all-loving God … and that the individual's highest fulfillment, greatest happiness, and widest usefulness are to be found in living in harmony with His will.

"I believe that love is the greatest thing in the world; that it alone can overcome hate; that right can and will triumph over might."

We would all do well to read this creed often and practice it all year long.

Predestination vs. Free Will

Somebody said, "The difference between predestination and free will is: "Predestination is the hand you were dealt; free will is what you do with that hand." Good point.

While we weren't responsible for, nor did we have any choice in what gifts and abilities we were born with, we are totally responsible for what we do about discovering and developing these gifts and talents and for how we use them.

Furthermore, regardless of our background, which I acknowledge has a profound effect on us, with God's help and the support of encouraging friends, we can refuse to allow our past to determine our future and we can overcome much of our past, develop our talents, and become the person God wants us to be and do what we believe He wants us to do with our life.

It all boils down to choice. Either by conscious choice or by default we all choose what we want to become and do what we choose to do. As another has said, "Everyone is self-made, even if the rich are the only ones who will admit it."

Loneliness Is a Sad Affair

Loneliness Is a Sad Affair

"Loneliness," as Karen Carpenter used to sing so sadly, "it's such a sad affair." Indeed it is. It's one of the plagues of modern Western society.

Dr. James Lynch, a former medical researcher at John Hopkins, contends in his book, The Broken Heart, that loneliness is the number one physical killer today. It can literally break your heart.

"Using actuarial tables from ten years research, Dr. Lynch says that those who live alone—single, widowed, divorced—have premature death rates from two to ten times higher than individuals who live with others. Living alone, he says, does not necessarily produce loneliness, but the two are often related. Among divorced people, suicide is five times higher, fatal car accidents four times higher.


"People who live alone visit physicians more frequently than married people, and they stay in hospitals twice as long for identical illnesses."

It may not be the most desirable for everyone but we can live without romantic relationships, but none of us can live healthily without at least one or two healthy, close, loving relationships. Without such we limp along in the shadows of life, eking out a lonely existence … and die a little every day.

Dr. Lynch also reminds us that, "If we fail to form loving human relationships, our mental and physical health is in peril."

Besides one's family (if one has one) there's no better place to find love and a sense of belonging.

Here, too, one can find God—the only one who can satisfy our innate sense of spiritual loneliness. "To live apart from him," says psychologist, Dr. Norman Wright, "is the most pathetic loneliness of all."

Seeds of Faith

Seeds of Faith


"Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap."

It's true … what we sow is what we reap. If we sow seeds of bitterness, we will reap bitterness. If we sow seeds of disharmony, we will reap disharmony. But if we sow seeds of joy, we will reap joy, and if we sow seeds of love, we will reap love.

So whatever you do, be sure to plant the seeds of whatever it is you want to
reap.

WYSIWYG

WYSIWYG

In the computer world we're probably all aware of the initials, "WYSIWYG" (pronounced wissiwig) meaning "What You See Is What You Get."

In the real world it's pretty much the same; or it could be worded this way, "What you look for is what you find."

Steve Goodier in his book, Are You Living in the Past ? Shared how both the vulture and hummingbird fly over the same desert. The vulture sees rotting flesh. The humming bird sees colorful desert plants. Each sees and finds what it's looking for.

We do the same thing. What we hunger for and thrive on is what we look for and find. As Frederick Langbrige put, "Two men look out the same prison bars, one sees mud, the other stars."

If we hunger for evil, that's what we'll find. If we hunger for material wealth and possessions, that's what we'll seek after. If we hunger for illicit love, that's what we'll look for, see, and find, etc., etc. But if we hunger for righteousness that's what we'll pursue, and if we hunger for God, we will find him.

Mary Norman summed it up very well: "I've never seen the face of God / To draw it in a book / But I have seen the hand of God / It's everywhere I look."

It's true in that what we see is what we get and what we look for is what we find. It depends on what we hunger and thirst for.

I Have a Problem

I Have a Problem

A man went to visit a psychiatrist, or so the story goes, and said, "Doc, I've got two problems." The psychiatrist said, "Okay, tell me all about it." The man began, "Well, first of all, I think I am a Coca-Cola Machine."

The psychiatrist sat the man down and started therapy. For weeks, he gave it his best shot but nothing seemed to help. Finally, out of exasperation, the psychiatrist jumped up one day, took two quarters (25-cent pieces) out of his pocket, shoved them in the man's mouth, grabbed him by the ears and shook him till he swallowed them. Then he hollered, "Okay, now give me a Coke."

That's when the man said, "I can't, Doc. That's my second problem, I'm out of order."

Jokes aside, the only people who have a problem that anyone can ever help, and the only ones that God can help are those who admit, "I have a problem. I need help. I'm out of order." As long as we blame anybody else for the way we react to situations, we will never overcome our problems. What others do to me is their issue. This is not to justify what they have done. However, how I respond is always my responsibility. In other words, whatever bothers me is my problem/ issue and I need to resolve that.

Overcoming any problem means acknowledging that I have a problem, admitting what the problem is, seeking help to overcome it, and persistence to hang in until the problem is resolved.

When Your Boss Is a Jerk

At times at work we have to put up with a lot of nonsense unless we are willing to be fired. We go to work to do a good job and earn a living, not to have wonderful relationships (unfortunately). If your boss is reasonable, you might be able to discuss with her/ him that you feel you are being over-controlled and that this makes it difficult for you to give of your best.

However, control freaks don't usually appreciate being told this. They are very insecure people and overcompensate by controlling those around them.

At the same time, while it is important that we don't repay evil with evil, it doesn't mean that we allow people to mistreat or walk over us. If we are being mistreated or persecuted, that is one thing and we need to depend on God's grace to carry us through. But if we are being mistreated at work by a mean or nasty boss and can't do anything about it, we need to either depend on God's grace to help us cope graciously or look for another job.

Whatever you feel is best and right for you to do, the most important thing you can do immediately is to ask God every day to help you. There's no guarantee that this will happen, but if it does, it will not happen overnight and, with God's help, will take a lot of patience and grace on your part.

Feelings: A Bane or a Blessing?

Imagine living in a world without feelings ? As someone noted in Reader's Digest some years ago, "Life without feelings would be like playing a trombone with a stuck slide"—incredibly dull and boring.

Feelings are feelings—and not actions. Feelings are an indication of what is going on in one's inner self—often from the unconscious mind. They are an "emotional thermometer" as it were indicating the state of one's inner self. The important thing is to learn how to discern what our feelings are telling us and then act appropriately.

For instance, if I have continuing feelings of anger, this is an indication that I probably have an unresolved relational conflict that I need to resolve. Or if I have ongoing feelings of guilt, this is an indication that I need to put something right and seek forgiveness. Think too of temptation. It starts in the mind. The thoughts and feelings associated with the temptation are neither right nor wrong. It's what we do about them—or in response to them—that makes them either right or wrong.

What we do about our anger that becomes either right or wrong—creative, or destructive and sinful. Remember, too, that what negative feelings we don't talk out creatively, we will inevitably act out destructively.

Thinking Makes It So

Thinking Makes It So

William James, the father of American psychology, stated that, "the greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitude of mind [your thinking]." He also said, "If you change your mind, you can change your life."

While what William James said is true, this truth wasn't discovered by his generation. Two thousand years ago God's word pointed out the importance of right thinking.

It is true; we can change our lives by changing our thinking—either for good or bad. If we harbor and dwell on negative thoughts, we will act in negative ways. On the other hand, if we harbor and dwell on positive thoughts, we will act in positive ways. What we think about comes about.

As another has said, "What the mind dwells on the body acts on." Think of temptation for instance. First comes a thought and, if we entertain it, it hooks our feelings, and the stronger we feel about it, the more we keep thinking about it, and the more we rationalize about doing it … and unless we nip that thinking in the bud, we give in to the temptation and act it out.

So as an unknown author also wisely said:

Watch your thoughts; they lead to attitudes.
Watch your attitudes; they lead to words.
Watch your words; they lead to actions.
Watch your actions; they lead to habits.
Watch your habits; they form your character.
Watch your character; it determines your destiny.

Your Key Is Still in the Ignition

Some time ago I read the following story in Focus on the Family magazine about a man who bought a car that had replaced warning lights with spoken instructions from a woman.

In a soft voice, his little woman, as he called her, would say, "Your door isn't closed properly." "Your key is still in the ignition." "Your seatbelt isn't fastened properly."

On one occasion, he recalled how the voice of his little woman said, "Your fuel level is getting low."

The driver thanked her and, figuring he had sufficient fuel to take him fifty more miles, ignored the voice and kept driving. Soon his little woman repeated, "Your fuel level is low." The longer he drove, the more his little woman repeated her warning.

Getting frustrated, he stopped his car, searched under the dashboard, and found the appropriate wires. One quick jerk and his little woman was silenced.

Imagine the look on his face when, a few minutes later, his car sputtered and jerked to a standstill—out of fuel! One could almost imagine a grin on his little woman's face !

We all have a little voice within. It's called conscience. It can get very annoying at times, too. Sometimes we "pull its wires" and, too late, we discover we are "out of fuel."

One danger, when we ignore the voice of our conscience and don't live according to our convictions, is that our mind experiences what counselors call "cognitive dissonance." That is, mental disharmony. Because this is too uncomfortable to live with, we switch off our conscience.

When we do this often enough, our mind not only switches off the voice of conscience but turns up the volume on the voice of rationalization and justification.

The sad fact is that if we don't live the life we believe, we end up unhappily believing the life we live. It is a dangerous and self-destructive path to follow.

Remember

Remember

Leo Buscaglia wrote, "There was a girl who gave me a poem, and she gave me permission to share it, and I want to do that because it explains about putting off and putting off and putting off—especially putting off caring about people we really love. She wants to remain anonymous, but she calls the poem, "Things You Didn't Do," that said the following:

Remember the day I borrowed your brand
new car and I dented it?
I thought you'd kill me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I dragged you to the
beach and you said it would rain, and it did?
I thought you'd say, "I told you so," but you didn't.
Do you remember the time I flirted with all the
guys to make you jealous, and you were?
thought you'd leave me, but you didn't.
Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry
pie all over your car rug?
I thought you'd hit me, but you didn't.
And remember the time I forgot to tell you the
dance was formal and you showed up in jeans?
I thought you'd drop me, but you didn't.
Yes, there were lots of things you didn't do.
But you put up with me, and you loved me,
and you protected me.
There were lots of things I wanted to make up to
you when you returned from Viet Nam.
But you didn't.

Is there something you need to do today for someone you care about—something that you've been putting off for too long ?

Why not do it today ?

Trust

Speaking of dreams, rock-climbing definitely is not a dream of mine. I've seen rock climbers scale the face of El Capitan in the magnificent Yosemite National Park in California. The thought of my doing what they are doing terrifies me. What if they fell ? It can happen. Imagine the terror that rock climber, Lynn Hill, experienced in May of 1989 when scaling a cliff face in France. As she reached the top of a 72-foot ledge, she leaned back into her harness to take a rest—and her rope didn't hold. She hurtled backwards into space. Amazingly, she survived the fall. She shared this in her autobiography, Climbing Free.

Hill was an experienced rock climber and relied fully on her equipment. Her experience, however, is a powerful reminder of the dangers of putting our trust into something that can fail.

Think of all the people who held stock in companies such as Enron. Thousands thought their future was secure but lost all their retirement funds. True, we can't go through life being suspicious of everyone, but having said that, we do need to be wise and careful about who and what we put our trust in.


So be extremely wise and careful in what and in whom you put your trust when it comes to life after death. Your life depends on it. Eternity is forever !

Attitude

Attitude, as it has been said, is much more important than aptitude. Aptitude says that we can do things, but attitude will determine how well we do them. Aptitude will determine how well we can think, but attitude will determine how well we feel about what we think. Aptitude will help us see things that perhaps others don't see, but attitude will help how we interpret what we see and what we do about it. A person with a healthy, positive attitude can achieve much more with his average aptitude than a person with a highly skilled aptitude but who has a negative and self-defeating attitude.

People with a positive attitude will see the glass half-full and be thankful, while those with a negative attitude will see the glass half-empty and complain about it. Both are correct of course but it's attitude that makes the difference in how they see things. In life we see things not the way they are but the way we are. And if we don't have an honest and realistic attitude, we will distort the most obvious facts to make them match our prejudiced attitude.

Then, of course, there are those who will argue that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. You can't win with these people because no matter what you say, they will disagree with you because they have a disagreeable attitude.

In all of life it's attitude that makes the difference. Aptitude is a gift. Attitude is a choice.

I like what Michael Josephson of Character Counts said, "So, at least for today, I'm not going to worry that roses have thorns; I'll rejoice that thorns have roses."

A Worth Read - Zibhe Azeem

~ Say No ~

Say No

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I Am Sorry

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Turning Pebbles Into Pearls

Into the shell of an oyster a tiny foreign body—such as a tiny parasite—finds its way into the soft oyster body. "The intruder, though microscopic, is a source of irritation and pain to the soft body of the oyster. Unable to rid itself of the unwelcome 'guest,' the oyster seeks to reduce the irritation by coating it with layers of soft, iridescent mother-of-pearl material from its own shell. Over time, the oyster transforms a painful irritation into a beautiful pearl of great value."

Most of us have "tiny parasites" or annoying "pebbles" that come into our life on a regular basis … many of which can be very frustrating and even painful.

But every one of these annoyances gives us a chance to grow and mature. Some will require great patience, others tough love. Some will require our turning the other cheek, some confrontation, and some kindness and understanding. For example, addicts need to be treated with tough love. Bullies require us to maintain healthy boundaries. Cheaters need to be confronted. Manipulators need to be managed. Control freaks need to be resisted, guilt throwers need to be challenged, and toxic people may need to be avoided, and so on.

With God's help, if we so choose, we can turn every one of these annoying pebbles into pearls or we can allow them to make us bitter. For it's not what happens to us that matters, but how we react to what happens. What we do about it is what matters—and that's a choice we make either consciously or unconsciously.

And remember, "The bumps are what we climb on."

No Fear—No Kidding

A common question asked in motivational seminars is: "If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do with your life?"

Participants imagine all sorts of things: take flying lessons … write a book … travel around the world … start a business … learn to play a musical instrument … make pottery, and so on.

Think of Martin Luther King's life-transforming, world-impacting statement: "I have a dream." And while King didn't live to see his dream fulfilled, his dream and what he started made a powerful impact on his world and helped change the world for every American. The fears he and his family faced from constant harassment and threats on his life would have overwhelmed all but the bravest of souls. However, it was his dream that overcame his fears and caused him even in death to triumph.

Remember, it's normal to be afraid. Most of us struggle with fear from time to time. It's part of the human condition. The important thing is not to deny one's fears but to acknowledge them, and not allow them to control us. As one author put it, "Feel the fear and do it anyway."

If the fear of failure were removed, what would you really like to do? Whether it's something small or something major doesn't matter. What is your dream, or better still, what is God's dream for you? And what will you do about it? Will you choose to allow your fear to control you? Or, with God's help, will you allow your dream to control your fear?

Remember too, that it's okay to fail in attempting to reach a goal. Failures are par for the course. In many ways they are our greatest teacher. The only real failure is not to get up one more time than we fall down—and to give up on our dream. Remember, too, failure is an event not a person. Know your dream. Trust God and put your dream in charge of your fears and, in time, as you step out in faith to begin to fulfill you dream, you will be able to say, "No fear. No kidding. That is, fear no longer has control over me!"

Superman Who?

I read how Ray, an energetic three-year-old, liked to play being Superman. Each morning he would have his mother pin a bath towel to the back of his T-shirt and off he'd go imagining he was wearing the magic blue and red cape pretending he was Superman. In his mind he came to believe he was Superman.

Then came kindergarten. When the teacher asked Ray for his name, he replied, "Superman."

Trying to hide her amusement she asked again, "I need to know your real name." Again he replied in all sincerity, "Superman."

The teacher, still trying to hide her amusement, got down to Ray's level and, looking squarely into Ray's eyes, said quite firmly, "I need to know your real name. What is it?"

Little Ray looked around the room, making sure no one was listening and, leaning close to the teacher, whispered in her ear, "I'm Clark Kent."

We smile at a child's innocence and make-believe world. But in reality some of us, afraid of being known for who we truly are, have hidden behind a pretend-mask for so long that we have come to believe that the role we play is the real us. In doing so, we fail to realize that the loneliness we struggle with is caused by our living in a make-believe world, neither knowing who we are or being known for who we are. For we can only ever be loved and connected to other loving people to the degree that we are known. Masks can't be loved. Only real people can be loved.

LoveHim

Love him …
when he “forgets” that special occasion.
For him moment with you is special so he does not need an occasion.

Love him…
when he comes late from the Musjid.
He wants to make sure he is early with you in Jannah (Paradise).

Love him…
when he admonishes you to don the hijaab.
He wants to be sure you enshrouded by Allah’s Mercy when you leave थे home.
Love him...
when he is jealous. Out of all the women he could have,
he chose you to be his wife!
Love him...
when he is working till late. At least he comes home
and you still get to sleep and wake up in his loving and caring arms।

Love him...
when he has annoying little habits that drives you nuts.
You have them too (and maybe more)
Love him...
when does not praise your cooking. He told you as
newlyweds that yours was indeed always the best.
Love him...
when he looks dishevelled.
He was more busy caring for the family than grooming himself. By the way he is cute!

Love him...

when he does not help in the home.
He is out earning a halaal (pure) income for the family.

Love him...
when he does not reply to your questions.
He does not want to hurt your feelings or is absorbed in thinking about your welfare.

Love him...
when he looks beautiful. He’s yours to appreciate!
Love him...
when he goes out in the Path of Allah. He is preparing a blissful eternal home for you in Jannah.
Love him...
when he does not comment when you get angry. He is a good listener.

Love him...
when he buys you gifts you don’t like. Smile and tell him it’s what you’ve always wanted. He took the time and money out just for you!

Love him...
when he has developed a bad habit. You have many more and with wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help him change.

Love him...
when he is irritable and moody.
Buy chocolates, massage his head and feet and just chat to him. He will become your slave!

Love him...
when whatever you do is not pleasing.
It’s like a storm; it happens and will soon pass by.

Love him...
when he drives so fast.
He only wants you to be there in time.

Love him...
when he extends his period of rest.
He is re-charging himself to serve you the best.

Love him...
when he forgets to say “I love you”.
He actually shows his love in many other ways.

Love him...
when he forgets to buy the bread or milk.
He was rushing home to be with you.

Love him...
when he does not give you a chance to talk.
He just knows what is in your heart and what it is you want to say.

Love him...
when he “demands” respect.
After all he is the head of the house.

Love him...
when he shouts the kids.
He only wants to ensure they are corrected and have a good moral upbringing.

Love him...
he is yours. You don’t need any other special reason!!!!
All this forms part of a man’s character।

Your Husband is part of your life and should be treated as the King!।
Almighty Allah Ta’ala says:

“ And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)…” (Qur’an 30:21)

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) is reported to have said:

• Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise.’”(Hadith-Ibn Majah)


• “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (of Ramadan), obeys her husband and guards her chastity, then it will be said to her: ‘Enter Paradise by whichever of its gates you wish.
  ”(Hadith-Ahmad and al-Tabarani)


• “Pay attention to how you treat him(husband), for he is your Paradise and your Hell।”(Hadith-13 Ahmad and al-Nisa’i)


• “No human being is permitted to prostrate to another, but if this were permitted I would have ordered wives to prostrate to their husbands, because of the greatness of the rights they have over them.”(Hadith: Ahmad and al-Bazzar)
  Don’t wait for that special occasion, take time NOW to make him feel Special in Every Way! Just give him a HUGE HUG and if he asks why then say: “ It’s just because you are so SPECIAL…”

LOVE "HER"

LOVE HER…

Love her …

when she sips on your coffee or tea.

She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you.

Love her…

when she "pushes" you to pray.

She wants to be with you in Jannah (Paradise).

Love her…

when she asks you to play with the kids.

She did not "make" them on her own.

Love her...

when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have,

she chose you

Love her…

when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts.

You have them too.

Love her…

when her cooking is bad. She tries.

Love her…

when she looks dishevelled in the morning.

She always grooms herself up again.

Love her…

when she asks to help with the kids homework.

She only wants you to be part of the home.

Love her...

when she asks if she looks fat.

Your opinion counts, so tell her she's beautiful.

Love her…

when she looks beautiful. She's yours so appreciate her.

Love her...

when she spends hours to get ready.

She only wants to look her best for you.

Love her…

when she buys you gifts you don't like.

Smile and tell her it's what you've always wanted.

Love her…

when she has developed a bad habit.

You have many more and with wisdom and politeness

You have all the time to help her change.

Love her…

when she cries for absolutely nothing.

Don't ask, tell her its going to be okay

Love her…

when she suffers from PMS. Buy chocolate,

rub her feet and back and just chat to her

(trust me this works!)

Love her…

when whatever you do is not pleasing.

It happens and will pass

Love her…

when she stains your clothes.

You needed a new thobe (kurta) anyway

Love her…

when she tells you how to drive.

She only wants you to be safe.

Love her…

when she argues. She only wants to make things right for both

Love her…

she is yours. You don't need any other special reason!!!!

All this forms part of a Woman's Character।

Women are part of your life and should be treated as the Queen.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) advised concerning the woman:

· Treat the women well.

· The best of you are those who are the best in the treatment of their wives.

· No one honours the woman except an honorable man.

And no one humiliates or holds her in contempt

except one who is evil, vile, wicked and depraved.

Don't wait for that special occasion,

take time now to make her feel Special in Every Way !

Stress Management

I read about a lecturer who, when teaching on stress management, raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Numerous guesses were suggested.

"What it weighs doesn't matter," the lecturer replied. "What matters is how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's no problem. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will ache terribly. And if I hold it for a day, I'll be in real trouble. The longer I hold it the 'heavier' it becomes."

That's true in life? If we keep working without a break, eventually we will break. And if we keep carrying a burden that is too heavy to bear without doing something about it, sooner or later the burden will break us. Stress needs to be managed—without which it can become a killer.

Learn to take breaks. Rest a while. Then you will be able to renew your strength and carry on.

Friendship

Friendship

The North American Indians had no written language before they met the white man. Their language, however, was far from primitive. Many of the Indians had as many words
in their vocabulary as their English and French exploiters। Some of their words were much more picturesque, too। For example, "friend" to the Indians was "one-who-carries-my-sorrows-on-his-back."

Every one of us needs at least one trusted Indian-type friend with whom we can share our deepest sorrows and disappointments. We all need a helping hand and a listening ear when we're going through difficult times; a shoulder to cry on when we are hurting, loving arms to hug us when we are lonely, and a good friend to laugh with us when we are happy.

Choose friends who are encouragers. Avoid as far as possible friends who are negative—and those "who are cursed with the affliction to give advice" when it is neither asked for nor wanted. They're not your friends. They will drain you. Being loving doesn't mean that we let people walk over us.

And most important of all … be an Indian-type friend !

Sunk in a Sinkhole

Sunk in a Sinkhole

"In December 1985 an enormous sinkhole swallowed a house and carport and forced the evacuation of four homes in a retirement community in Florida. The hole was about the size of a pickup truck when it was discovered. Within three hours it had grown to 30 by 40 feet and had swallowed half of a small house. Two hours later it had expanded to more than 70 feet, and the house with its carport was gone. Authorities were grateful that it finally stopped growing without doing even more damage.

Many people, find themselves falling into the sinkhole of temptation because they leave the door open for temptation to enter.

Temptation works the same for all of us. It's progressive. It can start with an innocent look, then a thought, and then if we linger longer on the look, the thought progresses to desire, then to becoming blind to reality and fooling ourselves into rationalizing that it won't hurt, and then to yielding. Following this pathway can quickly lead one into the sinkhole of sin as well as despair.

To overcome temptation we need to realize how vulnerable we are to the pull that temptation has on us. Note that "what the mind dwells on the body acts on," so when temptation knocks on our door, the best defense is to change our thinking. To do this immediately, pray, "Help, God, help," and say over and over, " until the tempting thoughts are wiped out.

Also, stand firm in the faith; be men [and women] of courage; be strong." And again, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Use It or Lose It

Use It or Lose It

I have read how "the Roman Aqueduct at Segovia, Spain was built in A.D.109. For eighteen hundred years it carried cool water from the mountains to the hot and thirsty city. Nearly sixty generations of men drank from its flow. Then came another generation, a recent one, who said, 'This aqueduct is so great a marvel that it ought to be preserved for our children as a museum piece. We shall relieve it of its centuries-long labor.'

They did and they ruined it. They laid modern iron pipes to carry the water.

They gave the ancient bricks and mortar a rest. And the aqueduct began to fall apart. The sun beating on the dry mortar caused it to crumble. The bricks and stone sagged and threatened to fall."

The same principle applies to one's personal and family life, to his business, and/or to his or her faith. When a business stops serving others, it too begins to fall apart. When family members ignore family responsibilities, the family rapidly falls apart. And as individuals when we stop using our God-given gifts—both natural and spiritual gifts—and fail to fulfill our God-given life purpose, little by little, what we once had in golden opportunities to serve we lose.

It's an old adage but there's a lot of truth in it: If you don't use it, you will lose it !