Being Authentic

In his book, The Transparent Self, Sydney Jourard explains, "When I say that self-disclosure is a means by which one achieves personality health, I mean something like the following: it is not until I am my real self and act my real self that my real self is in a position to grow. One's self grows from the consequences of being. People's selves stop growing when they repress them."

The problem of hiding and repressing one's true self, feelings and motives goes back to the first man, Adam. When he sinned he felt guilty and exposed, so he hid himself. When God called, "Adam, where are you?" Adam replied, "I was afraid so I hid." Fearing God might condemn and/ or reject him if he admitted what he did, Adam hid to defend himself.

Sin has the same effect on us all. Fearing rejection for our sins, failures, negative emotions, and false motives, we hide from God and then from other people. And, if we do this long enough, eventually we hide from ourselves until we no longer know who or what we really are. Personal growth then ceases and death as an authentic person begins.

To be fully alive and fully functioning, we need to be very much aware of the masks we hide behind and what we are hiding. Only when we face our reality; that is, our secret sins, dark side, and supercharged repressed negative emotions, and confess these to God and to at least one other trusted person, can we ever feel forgiven, free, and become authentic and real.

As they say in AA, we are as sick as our secrets. Also, it's not the truth that hurts us but letting go of the lies; that is, letting go of the masks and defenses we hide behind.

There are numerous ways we hide to avoid facing our dark side and to medicate our pain such as the following: being too busy, becoming a workaholic or even a religious-aholic, or in other addictive behaviors. We use chemical dependency, intellectualism, theological rigidity, legalism, saccharine sweetness, an austere bearing, control of others, being a super-personality, codependency, and a score of other ways. Only when we stop acting out in these self-defeating ways and face our inner pain can we ever have a chance of overcoming what we are hiding from. Hiding from the truth keeps us in bondage. Furthermore, living in denial can be deadly! It can destroy relationships and take years off one's life.

The tragedy is that most of us will do absolutely anything to avoid facing our reality and feeling our pain. However,  to heal it we need to feel it, admit it, own it, and bring it to God, to a trusted friend and, if needed, to a qualified counselor for healing and recovery.

Dear God
please help me
to be real
and connected
to every broken part in my life
every unresolved issue
every buried emotion
and any block in me
that hurts my relationships
and stops my feeling
and experiencing
your love
and affirmation
at the very core of my being.

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz

Ramadhan e Kareem

Talk Is Cheap

A man bought a parrot at an auction after some heavy bidding. "I hope this bird talks," he told the auctioneer.

"Talk ?" the auctioneer replied, "Who do you think has been bidding against you for the past ten minutes?"

Sad to say we seem to be living in a day when a person's word has less and less value. Once upon a time a man's word was his bond. Not any more I'm afraid. For far too many their word doesn't mean a thing. We've become pretty adept at parroting what we think people want to hear.

I remember one of my college professors teaching us that a person's character (among other things) could be measured by what value he or she puts on his/ her word. People who don't keep their word have a character issue and cannot be trusted.

Fortunately, however, of one thing we can be certain, God always keeps his word and always keeps his promises.

Dear God

please make me

a man/woman

of my word

so I can always be trusted

to say what I mean

mean what I say

and do what I say I will do.

 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz

Life With a Purpose

Motivational speaker, Mark Victor Hansen, said, "Setting goals is one of the most important things you can do to guarantee your personal, professional and financial success. Goals are like a road map to your target destination. Each goal accomplished is another mile behind you on the way to where you want to be."

Years ago I heard another speaker say, "Success is the ability to embrace a worthwhile goal and employ all of your powers for the achievement of that goal."

A life without goals is like a ship without a rudder drifting where the winds and waves of chance direct. However, even more important than setting goals is to first discover one's God-given life purpose and then establish goals to fulfill that purpose. 

Dear God

please help me 

to discover 

and clearly define 

my God-given life purpose 

and then direct me 

in the setting of worthwhile 

and specific goals 

that

with your help 

and my commitment

will assure 

the fulfillment 

of my life purpose. 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz

As You Think

Golfer Arnold Palmer has won hundreds of trophies but he never flaunts these. In his office is only one trophy on display. It is a small cup he received at his first professional win at the Canadian Open in 1955.

On his office wall is this lone framed plaque that reads:

If you think you are beaten, you are. / If you think you dare not, you don't. / If you'd like to win but think you can't, / it's almost certain you won't. Life's battles don't always go to the stronger or faster man, / But sooner or later, the man who wins / is the man who thinks he can.

Life's battles, challenges, successes and/or failures are all fought, won or lost in the mind.

Be assured, too, that "what the mind dwells on the body acts on." If you don't agree with this, just think how temptation works.

Dear God

please help me 

to guard my heart 

and mind with all diligence … 

and keep my thoughts focused 

on things that are 'true, pure, and of good report.' 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz

Choices

It has been wisely said that "it is choice not chance that determines our destiny." The fact is that we are where we are today primarily because of choices we have made in the past. Furthermore, we will be where we are in five, ten, or twenty years—and throughout eternity—based on choices we have or will yet make.

Floyd Lane, a talented basketball player who attended City College in New York in 1951, accepted a $3,000 bribe to shave points in just three games. Because other players were doing this, he decided to go with the group.

Big mistake. He and the other players got caught, arrested, and expelled from school. For the next 23 years he was unable to get a job as a player or a coach in sports because of what he had done. Finally, in 1974 his old college employed him as a coach.

When we make mistakes, which we all do from time to time, it's encouraging to know that we still have the choice to put things right. Fortunately, when we admit what we have done, God forgives us. And where possible, where we have hurt others, we need to make amends for what we have done. We also need to forgive ourselves. The important thing is to think first, pray, and make wise choices from now on. 

And most critical of all is to choose to accept God's forgiveness. Whatever else, DO NOT leave earth without God's gift of forgiveness. 

Dear God

please help me 

to make wise choices 

in everything I do

—especially in choosing 

to love 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz.

Give of Your Best

Give of Your Best

I have read how on one occasion when visiting Scotland Queen Mary was strolling with a group of children. Suddenly the sky turned gray and thick, dark clouds appeared. The queen stopped at a nearby house and asked if she might borrow an umbrella. She told the lady of the house, 'I'll send it back to you tomorrow.' The lady was understandably reluctant about lending a good umbrella to a total stranger, but she remembered that she had an old one in the attic. One rib was broken and there were several ragged holes in it, but she nevertheless, turned it over to this lady at her front door with a weak apology.

"The next day there was another knock at the door. This time, when she opened it, a man in gold braid stood with a big envelope in hand. 'The queen sent me,' he said, 'and asked me to thank you for the umbrella.'"

Can you imagine how this woman must have felt knowing she gave the Queen a broken umbrella and didn't give her best.

For those of us who claim to be God Fearing I wonder how we will feel at the end of life's journey when we stand face to face with God to give account of our life and realize that we didn't give God our best—but only our broken "unwanteds." 

Uncommon Common Sense

Have you ever noticed that common sense is not very common and that much of our reasoning is not always reasonable?

We have all sorts of reasons and excuses for why we say what we say and do what we do. And then there are the real reasons—the motives behind our choices and actions.

People come to discussions with hidden agendas. Some bully to get what they want. Others manipulate. Some even quote or misquote Scriptures to get things done their way. Whether this type of control is with a high and mighty hand or in a sweet, manipulative manner makes no difference. Both are equally dishonest and are destructive to personal growth, conflict resolution, and interpersonal relationships.

Common sense tells us that we need to avoid these and all other dishonest games. Being truthful can be difficult at times, but when our words are spoken in love, it is the only way to grow and develop healthy and intimate relationships.

While God doesn't make our choices for us, he has, as noted in today's Scripture passage, promised to give wisdom (common sense) to all who ask him. So wisdom is available if we will ask God for it and truly mean it.

Dear God

please give me

wisdom

and discernment

so that my life

will bring much glory

to your name.

 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz

Thoughtfulness

According to William A. Ward, "Thoughtfulness comes in many forms, and is virtually always welcomed by its recipients. Thoughtfulness is a habit—a way of life well worth cultivating and practicing.

"The thoughtful person is quick to pay a well-deserved compliment, or to send a prompt note of congratulations to someone who has received a promotion, an honor, or special recognition.

"Thoughtful people don't wait for opportunities—they imaginatively create numerous opportunities to make life brighter, smoother, and more enjoyable for those about them. Our thoughtful attitudes and generous deeds can make many people happy—including ourselves."

Being thoughtful is being kind, it is being loving.

Today, make sure you go out of your way to be thoughtful and kind—first of all to your own loved ones … and in some way to every life you touch.

Dear God
please help me
to be loving
kind
and thoughtful today
to my own loved ones
and to someone
who needs
a touch from you.

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz.

Stepping Stones to Success

 

Many achievements in life have come from a setback, an accident, or some kind of crisis or even suffering. For instance, the first cars had to be started by cranking the motor by hand. At times the engine would "kick" back the crank handle. This happened to Charles Kettering and it broke his arm.

"There must be a safer way to start cars than this," Kettering reasoned and he went on to invent self-starters for cars.

Jacob Schick was prospecting for gold where the temperature fell to 40 degrees below zero. He had a hard time trying to shave with a blade without sufficient hot water—so he invented the first electric shaver.

Eugene O'Neill had no specific goal or aim in life until he became ill and had to go to hospital. While lying flat on his back he began to write his plays.

So, when things go wrong in your life and you experience a major setback, lose your job, or have an accident, not always, but perhaps God has something for you to learn, or something else he wants you to do. The important thing is to be open to what God is saying.

True, disasters happen because we live in a broken, sinful world. Sometimes, however, a disaster is "God's wake-up call" to teach us an important lesson, to help us grow, or to lead us in a different direction.

Most of us God leads through his Word, our circumstances, and through a "still small voice" within that gives us a sense of what God wants us to do.

Dear God

help me

to see/ hear/ learn

what you are saying

to me in every adverse circumstance

I may experience,

as I truly want to be what you want me to be

and to do what you want me to do.

 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz.

Show Me—Don't Tell Me

 

A boy came home from school one day with a note from his teacher saying she had to punish him for swearing. His father took him aside and said, "Well, son, what about it?"

The boy replied, "I have nothing to say, Dad. I deserved it. She heard me say what I said and called me into her office."

"Then what happened?"

"Well, she asked me where I had heard such language. But I didn't give you away, Dad. I blamed it on the parrot."

Need I say more except to say that the heart of all effective teaching is "show me don't tell me." That is, we need to model what we want our children to learn, to become, and to do!

Dear God

please help me

to model

for my children

and others

the kind of person

you want me to be

so that others seeing

what you have done

in my life

will want the same

for themselves.

 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz.