Digging Up the Past

"In 1642 England was caught up in the Civil War with Cromwell and the roundheads. Five years later King Charles the First was captured, tried and sentenced to death. He was executed on January 30, 1649. Fifty-nine men put their signatures to the death warrant.

"When Charles II was restored to the throne some eleven years later, he wanted to avenge his father's death. However, by that time, some had died and others were living abroad. They were arrested, taken back to England, and ordered to stand trial.

"As for those who had died, the bodies of fifteen signatories, many of whom had been dead for years, were exhumed and then hung on the gallows."

That's exactly what resentment does. It digs up the past. It is caused by nursing grudges and failing to forgive—a practice that God's Words warns us not to do. This is because buried and/ or unresolved anger, hurt, grief, bitterness, etc., work like emotional cancer that "rots the bones," destroys relationships, and keeps one bound by the past.

As I've quoted before, "Failing to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Dear God ...
please deliver me ...
from the sin of nursing grudges ...
and holding on to all negative emotions ...
so that I can become a happier, healthier person ...
and a clear channel of your love ...

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer ...

When to Speak Up and When to Shut Up

"When we speak out against others we believe are in the wrong, are we being judgmental ?"

This is a good question to ask and a lot harder to know the right answer.

when is it right for us to speak out and when do we need to keep silent?

How do we know we aren't projecting our own unresolved issues onto other people?

Or when someone attacks us personally, when do we need to turn the other cheek, and when do we need to stand up and confront?

Or when we see wrong in society, business, or politics, should we speak out or should we look the other way and say nothing?

The bottom line is motive.

What we need to do if we are going to make a difference in our society is, first of all, to acknowledge our own shortcomings and, with God's help, work at overcoming these. Second, we need to love the things God loves and hate the things he hates and speak out against these. These are the things we need to be angry at too. We simply cannot love righteousness without hating and opposing unrighteousness.

Meekness is not weakness and let us not forget the words of Edmund Burke who said, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

Dear God ...
please continue ...
to purify my motives ...
and give me ...
the insight ...
to know ...
when to keep silent ...
when to be non-defensive ...
and give me the courage ...
to speak out against evil ...
when I see it ...

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz ...

Because We Are What We Are

Have you ever felt in the pits when a well-meaning friend told you that you shouldn't feel that way ?

It makes you feel worse.

Right ?

 

Whether we should or shouldn't feel what we feel is beside the point. We feel what we feel because we are who and what we are.

Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. It's what we do with them that counts. And, contrary to what many of us were taught, feelings are important. They are a God-given vital part of our humanity.

In one sense feelings are an "emotional thermometer." They tell us what's going on inside of us—what our emotional temperature is and, when interpreted correctly, can indicate when we are emotionally well or if there is some issue in our life we need to resolve.

When feelings are repressed, one's "thermometer" is out of order. It's a very unhealthy way to live. You don't even know when you are sick (emotionally and/ or spiritually). Furthermore, people whose feelings are repressed may be clever but can, at the same time, be very cold, calculating, insensitive, callous, and—in the extreme—even murderous.

Feelings can be trusted. What we can't always trust is our interpretation of them. That's the difficult part, but with help it can be learned and learn it we must if we are to be emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy.

Learn to listen to your emotions. Take time to write something daily. Record what you are feeling without any kind of self-judgment. Get into a support, recovery or therapy group where it is safe to express your feelings and get them out into the open where they can be accepted and examined. If emotions are deeply buried, chances are you will need a capable therapist to help you work through and resolve the barriers in your life that are blocking your feelings.

Be aware, too, that the negative emotions we fail to talk out creatively we will inevitably act out in one way or another destructively. Also remember that how to feel or how not to feel—only how to act.

Dear God ...

help me ...

to get in touch with ...

all of my emotions ...

—both positive and negative—

and learn ...

how to express them ...

creatively ...

in a healthy manner ...

so that ...

I will become ...

an honest ...

and real person ...

 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz ...

People Who Need People

Many readers will be familiar with the song made popular by Barbara Streisand, "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world." She's right of course.

We all need some close, supportive friends. "Bear one another's burdens" and "love one another"

Make time to develop and maintain close friendships. In a day of trouble you will need them. You will also need them in good days. We were created for relationships and can only live healthy lives when we are in healthy relationships.

A poet wrote:

    I went out to find a friend,
    But could not find one there.
    I went out to be a friend,
    And friends were everywhere.

Dear God ...

help me first of all ... 

to be a loving friend ...

and then find loving friends ...

to be with ...

 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz  

All I Need to Know

You are probably familiar with the article by Robert Fulghum titled, "All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." It's a classic and contains priceless advice.

"Most of what I really need to know about life, I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but here in the sandbox at nursery school.

"These are the things I learned: Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush ! Live a balanced life. Learn and think, draw and paint, sing and dance, play and work a little every day.

"When you get out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands, and stick together. Be aware of wonder.

"Remember the little seed in the plastic cup. The roots go down and the plant goes up, and nobody really knows why, but we are all like that.

"Goldfish, hamsters, white mice, and even the little seed in the plastic cup—they all die. So do we.

"And then remember the book about Dick and Jane, and the first word you learned, the biggest word of all: LOOK. Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule, love and basic sanitation, ecology, politics and sane living.

"Think of what a better world it would be if all of us—the whole world—had cookies and milk about three o'clock every afternoon, and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation, and other nations, always to put things back where we found them, and cleaned up our own messes.

"And it's still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it's best to hold hands and stick together."

Going Around in Circles

I remember reading the following story in Reader's Digest about an independent trucker who was having difficulty finding his delivery location. "Take exit 20, turn right, and then take the second left," were the instructions he was given.

He took the correct exit, turned right, then took the second left and ended up back on the highway.

He tried again. The same thing happened.

He called the company, who gave him some adjusted directions. His next two attempts put him back on the highway going the opposite direction.

However, he recalled having seen a police car parked not far from the exit. So on his fifth attempt, he parked his rig, walked over to the police car and asked the officer for help.

"Don't worry," said the officer, "just wait a while. Your trucks have been coming by all morning. All you need to do is follow the next one that gets off the highway."

Do you ever feel like you are also going around in circles getting nowhere fast ?

 

Sometimes it takes a while to get God's directions—but while we're waiting there's always something for us to learn. 

"Your Time Is Limited ..."

 

In October of last year the passing of Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computers, was a shocker even though it was well known that he had battled cancer for some time. The shocker was that he was only 56.

Steve, a genius with computer technology—from the personal computer to the iPod and iPhone—had a profound impact pretty much on the entire world with his incredible computer-related inventions. He will be known among the greatest of inventors. Interesting that in 1993 he said, "Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me…. Going to bed at night saying we've done something wonderful—that's what matters to me."

One word of wisdom Jobs shared when he made it known that he had cancer was this: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life."

How true this is. Time is limited. Life is short—and we only have one shot at it.  

Challenging Fear

Most of us struggle with fear of one sort or another at one time or another—some mild, some serious, some healthy, some unhealthy and self-defeating.

Healthy fear is a self-protective mechanism. We rightly fear (or should) driving through a red light, or doing anything that could hurt us or others. Unhealthy fear is that which is caused by someone who hurt us deeply, and especially when we bury and deny it. This fear can become a floating anxiety and cause us to be fearful of everyday living, separate us from close relationships and cause loneliness, give us ulcers or other physical ills, or cause us to hide it and "protect" ourselves with anger.

Fears that are relatively harmless can often be overcome by doing the thing we fear and thereby reconditioning our response to the particular thing we fear.

Unhealthy or self-defeating fears need to be dealt with at their root cause. Sadly, the things we fail to resolve we are destined to repeat.

To be made perfect in love means we need to resolve any unhealthy fears. To do this these fears need to be recognized and if repressed, they need to be brought into the conscious mind so they can be confronted and resolved.

Look at the symptoms in your life ...

Do you avoid close relationships ?

Is your life filled with anxiety ?

Are you an angry person ?

Do you have any impaired close relationships ?

Is your marriage a wreck ?

If any of these apply to you, chances are you may have unresolved fear. So when you pray, admit these and any other symptoms to God and ask Him to give you the courage to see the root cause of these—and to lead you to the help you need to overcome these. If the fears are buried, you may need qualified professional counseling help to overcome these.

As we resolve unhealthy fears, we open ourselves to love, and the more we are filled with God's love, the less fearful we will be because perfect love drives out fear.

Don't Waste Your Pain—Invest It

In almost every trial we face God is seeking to "tell" us something. Sometimes when we're hurting sufficiently to slow us down so we will stop and listen.

When you are hurting, you can be sure that God has something to say to you too—something for your good. Ask Him to help you hear what it is and to give you the courage to do what he is telling/ leading you to do. Whatever it is, you can be certain it will enrich your life in one way or another.

Furthermore, whatever you do, don't waste your pain. Invest it in your own growth and then in helping another fellow struggler along the way.

Dear God ...
please help me ...
to see ...
how you want ...
to use ...
all the trials ...
that come my way ...
to help me grow ...
and change my life ...
for the better ...

And please help me ...
never to waste my pain ...
but to invest it wisely ...
in my own growth ...
and in making me ...
a more effective helper ...
to other fellow strugglers ...

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz

Fickle or Faithful Friends

Babe Ruth was one of the all-time greats of American baseball. For years he had been the idol of sports fans. Time, however, took its toll. I read how, in one of his last games, he began to falter. He struck out and made several misplays that allowed the opposing team to score five runs in one inning. As he walked from the field, he was greeted with an enormous storm of boos and catcalls from the stands. Fans shook their fists.

Then a little boy jumped over the railing and, with tears running down his cheeks ran out to the great athlete. Unashamedly, he flung his arms around his hero's legs and held on tightly. Babe Ruth picked him up, hugged him, set him down, and together the two of them walked off the field hand in hand.

An unknown poet wrote:

    I went out to find a friend,
    But could not find one there.
    I went out to be a friend,
    And friends were everywhere!

The Impact of the Spoken Word

"Researchers at Kenyon College conducted a test in cooperation with the US Navy. The purpose was to discover how the tone of the voice affected sailors when they were given orders. The experiments revealed that the way a person was addressed determined to a large extent the kind of response he would make. For example, when an individual was spoken to in a soft voice, he would answer in a similar manner. But when he was shouted at, his reply came back in the same sharp tone. This was true whether the communication was given face-to-face, over the intercom, or by telephone."

With yellers there is a tendency to yell back at him or her. However, other research has shown that if we answer a yeller softly in a soft tone of voice, he will have to lean forward to hear what we are saying and tend to lower his own volume.

Richard De Haan wisely said, "What we say and how we say it not only makes a difference in the reaction we'll receive, but it also determines whether conflict or peace will result. Many arguments could be avoided and tense situations relaxed if we understood [and practiced] this truth."