The Impact of the Spoken Word

"Researchers at Kenyon College conducted a test in cooperation with the US Navy. The purpose was to discover how the tone of the voice affected sailors when they were given orders. The experiments revealed that the way a person was addressed determined to a large extent the kind of response he would make. For example, when an individual was spoken to in a soft voice, he would answer in a similar manner. But when he was shouted at, his reply came back in the same sharp tone. This was true whether the communication was given face-to-face, over the intercom, or by telephone."

With yellers there is a tendency to yell back at him or her. However, other research has shown that if we answer a yeller softly in a soft tone of voice, he will have to lean forward to hear what we are saying and tend to lower his own volume.

Richard De Haan wisely said, "What we say and how we say it not only makes a difference in the reaction we'll receive, but it also determines whether conflict or peace will result. Many arguments could be avoided and tense situations relaxed if we understood [and practiced] this truth."

Bear One Another's Burdens

It was a very hot summer day when Herman Trueblood was walking home from a cool dip in the ocean when he noticed a man perspiring profusely as he was trying with the help of his two young sons to push his broken-down car up an incline.

Trueblood looked at the struggling trio and said to himself, "Here is an opportunity for service. You ought to give them a hand." An opposing voice within chimed in, "No, It's none of your business. You'll get yourself all hot and dirty. Let them take care of their own responsibility."

Eventually he yielded to the better impulse, put his shoulder to the task and all working together pushed the car over the incline and on its way.

Before they took off, the father, putting his hand out to Trueblood, said, "I'm very glad that you came along. You had just enough strength, added to ours, to make the thing go."

Trueblood noted, "Years have passed since that hot day, but I can still hear that man saying, 'You had just enough strength, added to ours, to make the thing go.'"

There are numerous people around us who are barely making it over their private hill of despair when, with a helping hand, they could make it.

Dear God

please use me

to be a helping hand

to a friend in need

who just can't make it alone

 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz ...

Winning Over Worry

It's Monday morning. The weekend is over. The alarm clock blares out its hideous jangle and suddenly you are snapped into the world of reality. First comes the struggle to get out of bed, then the rush to get to school or work on time, and then comes the stress of trying to juggle all of your seemingly endless responsibilities throughout the day.

Is this how your week starts ? And aren't these pressures mild compared to the ones you face as the day and week wear on?

We live in a world of ever-increasing stress and worry with school, work, family, financial, and social pressures. Not many people are free from worry of some kind. However, an overload of worry and anxiety are a major problem of contemporary society. In excessive amounts they can take years off your life.

Some people like to think that things don't bother them. "No problem," they say as they put on a brave front and reach for the aspirin to medicate the pain of their inner anxieties.

But it isn't possible to deaden inner anxiety. It will reveal itself in many ways. For instance, "A" withdraws when he is upset, hurt, or uptight. "B" talks endlessly to cover her anxiety. "C" chain smokes to avoid facing his. "D" attacks when he feels threatened. "E" dominates and "F" procrastinates. "G" is a constant complainer. "H" is a compulsive eater, "I" a compulsive drinker, "J" a compulsive worker, and "K" a compulsive gambler—all because of inner unresolved worry and anxiety.

Anxiety may also express itself in a physical way. Abdominal pains, high blood pressure, a twitch, allergies, ulcers, nervous stomach, tension headaches—all have been named by doctors as symptoms of anxiety and worry.

Yes, sooner or later unresolved worry and anxiety will win out. When one fails to talk out his worries in healthy ways, he will act them out in unhealthy ways in one form or another.

However, it's one thing to know about God's peace and another thing to experience it. It begins with being able to see and admit our real fears, by facing and resolving them, and by learning to give them over to God—and not take them back.

The causes behind worry and anxiety can be many and varied. The following are some of the major ones with some helpful tips for winning over them.

First, if anxiety is situational—that is, caused by adverse circumstances or too much work, I find it helps to list all my responsibilities on paper. This is half the battle. I then eliminate the least important matters, work on the things I can do something about, and try to learn to accept the things I cannot change and to stop worrying about them.

Second. If the problem is repressed, pent-up feelings such as resentment, hurt or anger, those feelings need to be expressed in healthy ways. If you're nursing a grudge, you will need to put things right with the other person concerned and forgive him or her. Negative feelings can be talked out with a trusted friend or counselor. Or, if it helps, go for a drive in your car with the windows closed and shout your feelings out, go to the bedroom and cry them out, or write them out. Just don't bottle them up.

One night when I was worried and couldn't sleep, I got up and typed a letter to God sharing all my feelings with him. Within a half-hour I had released my pent-up feelings. I then read them back to God, tore up the page, went back to bed, and fell asleep immediately.

Good, hard physical exercise is also helpful when you're feeling worried or anxious.

Third, if your worry is caused by unmet emotional or spiritual needs, you can remedy this by growing in your relationship to God and other people—both of which are keys to vital, worry-free living. A spiritual growth group or a good recovery program can be a big help for some. As you open up to other safe people and to God and feel their love and acceptance, you can slowly change feelings of fear, guilt, anger, inadequacy, anxiety, and worry for feelings of hope, confidence, peace, and love.

It is also true that unresolved fears have a way of blocking out love. So we need to ask God to help us overcome our fears so we can be filled with love. The more we love and trust God, the less we fear man and circumstances. Every day, visualize yourself opening up to God and being filled with his love, joy and forgiveness.

In 1929, business tycoon J.C. Penny was in the hospital because of his severe anxiety. One night he was sure he was going to die so he wrote farewell letters to his wife and son.

But he survived the night, and hearing singing the next morning in the chapel, felt drawn to go in. A group was singing, "God will take care of you".

Penny said, "Suddenly something happened. I can't explain it. It was a miracle. I felt as if I had been instantly lifted out of the darkness of a dungeon into warm brilliant sunlight. I felt as if I had been transported from hell to paradise. I felt the power of God as I had never felt it before.

"I realized then that I alone was responsible for all my troubles. I knew that God with his love was there to help me. From that day to this, my life has been free from worry. The most dramatic and glorious minutes of my life were those I spent in that chapel that morning."

The cause or causes of our anxiety and worry almost always lie within our self. At best they are triggered by outside circumstances. Only when we see and resolve these causes, are we free to fully surrender our worries and anxieties to God and experience his peace.

Whether this peace comes instantly or over a period of time doesn't matter. The important truth to remember is that God is always there. His love and power are constant and available to all. As we reach out to him through the fog of our worry and damaged emotions, we discover that he is waiting to help us if only we will respond to his love and give him the chance.

 

Dear God ...

if and when ...

I am worried ...

or afraid ...

please help me ...

not to deny it ...

or escape into over-busyness ...

procrastination ...

or any addictive ...

or compulsive behavior ...

but face it square on ...

see the cause ...

and lead me ...

to the help I need ...

to overcome ...

and win over my worry ...

 

Dear God ...

when I am worried ...

and anxious ...

if there are ...

hidden causes ...

behind these ...

please help me ...

to see them ...

and lead me ...

to the help ...

I need ...

to resolve these issues ...

at their root ...

I fully trust in you ...

 

Dear God ...

I commit ...

and trust ...

my life ...

and way to you ...

and choose ...

to trust you ...

in all circumstances ...

Grant that my emotions ...

will catch up ...

with my choice ...

to trust you ...

Help me ...

to resolve ...

all my fears ...

that cause me ...

to worry ...

so I can be filled ...

with your love ...

joy ...

and peace ...

 

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz ...

Guilty Silence

In his book, Seven Signs of the End Times, Mark Hitchcock shares the following: "I heard a story recently about two pastors standing near the side of a road holding up a sign that read, 'The end is near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!'

"As the first driver sped by, he hollered, 'Leave us alone, you religious nuts!'

"From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big crash. One pastor turned to the other and said, 'Maybe we should just put up a sign that says, Bridge Out Ahead.'"

And as Hitchcock added, "It does appear to me, as I read the signs in our world today that the bridge is out." Because of this, it is imperative that we let people know that they need to turn around and receive God's forgiveness before it is too late.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer so eloquently stated it: "Silence in the face of evil is itself evil: God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act." May God deliver us from "our guilty silence."

Facts Versus Feelings

Old habits and old beliefs die hard. For centuries people believed Aristotle's opinion that the heavier an object was, the faster it would fall to earth.

According to a report I read, in 1589 Galileo challenged Aristotle's teaching. He invited learned professors to the base of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Galileo went to the top of the tower and pushed off a ten-pound and a one-pound weight. Both landed at the same instant, but the professors still wouldn't believe what they saw. They insisted Aristotle was right.

Once again, here is another case of people believing what they want to believe. It's like the old saying, "Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind's made up."

Some of us avoid facing facts because they're too threatening. Others of us don't face reality because it's not in sync with our feelings. I'm a great believer in acknowledging feelings but I can't always trust my interpretation of them.

How foolish it would be to be driving on a highway and disregard a major warning "danger ahead" sign because we don't feel the sign is correct. Maturity recognizes one's feelings, checks them out for reality, and doesn't allow them to control him or her. When it comes to life, if our feelings don't harmonize with God's Word, we'd better follow God's Word rather than make our feelings the voice of authority, which can be a very dangerous path to follow, especially when it comes to eternal life and eternal values.

The Impact of Unity

Even if stronger people have to slow down a little (which can be difficult for some) to allow weaker ones to keep up, pulling together as a team at home, work and play makes life much more fulfilling and harmonious. It also gets you to where you want to go. Without this we spend lots of energy going in circles.

Working together in harmony and unity is a very valuable lesson we learn.

Dear God ...

please help me ...

to be a team player...

at home ...

at work ...

and at play ...

and especially ...

in the work ...

you have for me to do ...

as a part of what you are doing ...

in the world today ...

Thank you for hearing and answering my prayerz ...

Be Prepared

Sometimes the seemingly simple things in life can teach us some of the most important lessons. Take ants for example. Even though their "brain" (central ganglion or nerve) is less than one-tenth the size of a pinhead, ants live in highly organized social colonies. Some collect food, others build the nest and keep it clean, and some look after the queen ants. Nurse ants clean and feed the larvae. Soldier ants guard and protect the food-collecting ants.

Among other lessons, the ants "who store up their food in the summer" teach us the importance of being prepared ahead of time for whatever might come our way. The Chinese proverb, "Dig your well before you're thirsty" makes the same point. Children and teenagers need to be prepared for life, for entering the work force, and for taking care of themselves. Those who are planning to be married should be prepared ahead for it; unfortunately too many aren't. And among taking care of various responsibilities, adults need to be prepared ahead for retirement and old age.

And most important of all, we need to be prepared for life after death when we will meet our Maker face to face. How tragic beyond all measure for those who aren't prepared for life after death. Whatever you do, don't let this happen to you.

The Need for Precaution

While the ants teach us many lessons, including the importance of being prepared as much as possible for whatever lies ahead, the conies or rock badgers show us the need for precaution and being responsible for taking care of ourselves.

These small animals hide behind the rocky crags jutting up in the mountains where no eagle can get to them. They also hide close to the rocks where they remain unseen by prowling lions. Away from the safety of the rocks they would be dead meat.

Too many people today are over-dependent, expecting somebody else or the government to take care of them. God's goal for each of us is that we mature and grow up, not be independent nor over-dependent, but interdependent. If we don't take care of ourselves and accept responsibility for getting our needs met in healthy ways, nobody else is going to do it for us. Rock-badgers, if they didn't exercise precaution and take care of themselves, would either starve or be eaten. If we don't learn to do the same, we will, in the long run, "be eaten up!" And when we expect others, including for some the government, to do for us what we can and need to do for ourselves, we remain immature, over-dependent and irresponsible.

Furthermore, in life, the reality is that we can't trust everybody. The more we know and understand ourselves, the more we will be able to sense whether we can trust somebody else or not. And we certainly can't trust our arch enemy, the devil. "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

We don't want to become cynics, but we do need to be careful, take necessary precautions against all forms of moral ineptitude, wrong-doing and evil, and accept full responsibility for every area of our life. Above all we need to daily trust our life and way to God as did one saying, "The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge … He is my stronghold."

GIGO

Most readers will be aware of "computerese" language that has developed in relation to computers, email and the web. Words, or letters rather, with specific meanings such as: HTML, FTP, PDF, CSS, LOL, RSS, GIGO etc., etc. GIGO stands for "garbage in garbage out." That is, if we put garbage (nonsensical information) into our computer we will get nonsensical information out of it. It's the same with life.

For instance, you may have read the story about the mother who was cleaning and slicing vegetables for a salad when her daughter came into the kitchen to ask permission to go to a movie—one with sufficient rating to indicate that it had "adult" language and other offensive material.

"All the kids are going," she said, "and their parents don't think it will hurt them."

As she talked, she saw her mother pick up a handful of the scraps and throw them into the salad. Rather startled, she shouted, "Mother, you're putting the garbage into the salad!" "I know," her mother replied, "but I thought if you didn't mind garbage in your heart and in your mind that you wouldn't care about a little in your stomach.

Thoughtfully, the girl picked the peelings from the salad and then smiled at her mother. "I guess I'll just tell them I'm staying at home tonight," she said as she went through the kitchen door.

The world we live in is plagued by evil and moral filth. A vital part of living a happy, meaningful and fulfilling life is, "turn away from evil and do good."

Good Guilt—Bad guilt

Good Guilt—Bad guilt

Guilt, false guilt, and shame can all look alike but they're not. For instance true guilt says you have done something wrong or bad, while shame says you are bad; that is, you are a bad person.

With real guilt, if you know you've done something wrong, and confess it and make restitution, the feeling of guilt goes away. If it doesn't, it may be false guilt or shame you are struggling with.

You can confess false guilt forever, but that will never resolve it because it isn't guilt. It is a conditioned response learned mostly in earlier years.

It can come from parents and siblings, sad to say.

Some of it, at least, works like this: "If you do what I want you to do, behave the way I want you to behave, conform to what I want, and even believe what I want you to believe, I will give you my love and approval. If you don't do these things, I will withhold my love and approval and make you feel guilty. Or if you do things I don't like, I will make you feel ashamed with my 'shame on you' statements and attitude."

False guilt and shame are destructive ways of controlling other people. Both are psychologically damaging.

If we have sinned and done wrong, we are guilty regardless of what we feel. Its purpose is not to make us feel that we are bad persons or to shame us, but to inform us that we have done wrong and that there are always consequences. The feeling response we ought to feel when we have done wrong is sorrow. This is to motivate us to come for forgiveness, wherever possible to put right the wrongs we have done, and to genuinely repent of (turn away from) sinful actions.

Conscience

Conscience

Conscience can be a tricky thing. We weren't born knowing what was right or wrong but with the ability to learn this. The word "conscience" is comprised of the prefix "con" meaning "with" and "science" meaning "knowledge" and literally means "with knowledge."

At birth our conscience was like a blank tape that was programmed by those who shaped our early life. If you grew up in a rigid, legalistic, punitive home, or religious group, chances are you will have a rigid, legalistic and punitive conscience. Some of these people feel so controlled, restricted and smothered that they end up rebelling against or even deadening their conscience.

As a result of faulty teaching, some of us sometimes feel guilty (conscience-stricken) when we shouldn't and don't feel conscience-stricken when we should.

As adults, to have a healthy conscience, many of us need to deprogram the legalism and other faulty teaching we received in the past, and reprogram our conscience with knowledge based on so that we know what is right and what is wrong so our feelings no longer confuse, control or lead us astray.